the guido and poop

I don't have any great pictures to share but I have to blog a little about Jack. This kid makes me laugh every day. And not just an appreciative chuckle or a giggle about how cute he is...I mean he makes me LAUGH. He has a very blunt and well thought out sense of humor. He has no shame and talks very seriously about farting or pooping (lucky me) and he even has a little condescending/sarcastic tone when we discuss things- like I'm just a "silly" mommy who doesn't know any better. He still has a little baby in his voice - a little lisp and can't say his r's - which makes everything he says so much more adorable. And his face - this kid has one of the most expressive face I have ever seen. The eye rolls and eyebrow raising and furrowed brows...it's all funny to me.

I understand that this is not even half as funny to anyone else, but here are some of our latest conversations that just had me rolling (and still get me laughing when I think about them):

The guido:

The other night we were putting together dinner from a bunch of leftovers. I asked Jack if he would rather have a quesadilla or a burrito.

Jack: (thoughtful pause) I'll have a guido.

Me: I said burrito.

Jack: I know. I still want a guido.

Me: You mean b-u-r-r-i-t-o.

Jack: (sigh) No, I mean a g-u-i-d-o.

Me: Okay Jack, what is a guido?

Jack: (another impatient sigh) You know mom...it's got - like - mustard on it!

That's all I could get out of him. Still not sure what a "guido" is but he seemed pretty sure of what he wanted. Funniest part to me is that he obviously wasn't talking about a burrito cause we have never put mustard on our burritos.

The poop sword:

(Potty Humor: don't read if you don't want to hear about Jack's poop)

Jack has got into the off-color habit of labeling the type of poop he makes. Example: snake poop, rock poop, squishy poop, green poop, etc.

The other day he informed me that he had had a sword poop. I still help him wipe and sure enough, it definitely looked like a sword - hilt, blade, and all.

When Caton came home, Jack excitedly told him about his sword poop. I told him to stop talking about poop but Caton egged him on by telling him that he also had had a sword poop (nice dinner conversation huh?). Jack was wide-eyed and impressed but had to clarify, "Are you sure? Like, it had a handle?"

Turning 4:

(Another poop related story. Sorry. That's what life is like for me these days. It's sad.)

As I previously mentioned, I still help Jack wipe. He has been potty trained for over a year now but when it comes to #2, I'd rather get it done right than deal with skid marks on laundry day.

However, we have been telling Jack that when he turns 4, it will be time for him to wipe himself. That was pretty easy for him to accept because when you are 3, turning 4 seems like an eternity away. We didn't even talk about it that much in the days leading up to his birthday.

The morning he turned 4, we were all up at the breakfast table when he came shuffling out of his room - in a t-shirt and spiderman underwear - rubbing his eyes. I softly sang "happy birthday" to him and rubbed his back as he struggled to fully wake up. I expected him to be excited that it was his birthday and to start asking for his presents. But instead he looked worried and speaking for the first time as a four year old, said:

"I don't think I'm going to be able to wipe my own bum."