turning four...

Jack turned four on Monday. It's getting harder for me to see my babies grow up. For the first few years I am actually excited for them to grow up - I am admittedly not a baby person and it's fun to see them develop a personality and talk and master skills. However, this birthday was a little emotional for me.

It could be that Jack is becoming less and less snuggly. He has moments of snuggliness but he will frequently wipe off my kisses and give me dutiful squeezes instead of heartfelt ones. He does promise me that when he's big like daddy he will still love me. That's good, right?

It could be that he is now into video games, cars, and nerf guns instead of colorful squishy toys and play dough. Or that he is suddenly losing all his baby fat. Or that he loves to leave me and go to school.

I think the real blow was when he went to bed the other night. He climbed into his blankets, tossed his jellycat monkey off his bed, and said simply "I don't want him anymore!" I could barely keep from crying. He has slept with his monkey since birth. All my kids sleep with their jellycats. Even Layla. It was very very sad. (I still put his monkey on the bed when I make it in the morning - I can't let go).

Even though I am sad that this little boy is not so little anymore, there are new things about Jack that I love.

Jack is so funny! His comments are quick witted and playful and random and thoughtful. He cracks me up every single day. He talks my ear off about everything: whether or not I'm going to give him fruit snacks next week, why Luke has a green light saber, why I should give him money for NOT doing his chores, why I should give him candy before breakfast, how his tummy starts to hurt every time he picks up his toys, what color and shape his poop was today (awesome, I know...) and why...

He is sweet and happy and tries his hardest to be obedient. But he also is easily sidetracked and always has to have the last word - which often drives me crazy. I can't even count the number of times Caton and I have looked at each other and said, "Where does this kid come from?"

Wherever he's from, we are so lucky to have him in our family. He brings us so much joy and we love him like crazy. I feel blessed to be his mother (on most days).